Things We’ve Learned In The First 100 Days Of The Trump Administration

With today marking the 100th day of Donald Trump’s presidency, here are The Top Things We Learned in the First 100 Days of the Trump Administration.

  • There’s nothing like a good bombing to stop the slide into negative approval numbers.
  • A Jared Kushner military action figure probably wouldn’t sell very well.
  • Even 70-year-old men love playing with trucks.
  • Alternative facts ARE facts, if you just believe!
  • Anyone who’s ever worked for, read, or Googled “The New York Times” is a stupid, ugly loser.
  • President Trump wants to avoid three things: a military conflict with North Korea, a trade war with China . . . and his daughter Tiffany.
  • Steve Bannon was obviously the inspiration for Swamp Thing.
  • Trump’s approval rating may be dropping . . . but his putting is REALLY improving.
  • “The environment” is just that thing you build stuff over.
  • Melissa McCarthy does a better Sean Spicer impression than Sean Spicer does.
  • Attorney General Jeff Sessions is slowly adapting to not living in a tree with a bunch of elves making cookies all day.
  • Barack Obama didn’t play that many rounds of golf after all.
  • If you’re the president’s press secretary, NEVER bring up Hitler.
  • The biggest threat facing our public schools is bear attacks.
  • Well, which version do you want to hear? Sean Hannity’s or Rachel Maddow’s?
  • President Trump’s computer does not have spellcheck.
  • When in doubt, make stuff up.