Rejected Slogans for Fake Mud-Caked Jeans

Nordstrom’s introduced $425 jeans with fake mud caked onto them. Seeing this nearly made me crap my pants. Hey Nordstrom’s, how much would pants like that go for these days??

  • For the guy who has everything except a lick of sense

  • When you want people to think you’ve been digging out a septic tank

  • For REALLY Casual Friday

  • Because chicks love filth, right?

  • Why not be mocked AND ostracized?

  • For that sexy “slept in a storm drain” look

  • Ask about our sewage-scented fabric softener!

  • For the guy who wants to spend $425 to look like he works for $6 an hour

  • We weren’t serious — you knew that, right?

  • Don’t just say you’re a d-bag — shout it!