The Top Things You Don’t Want to Hear from Your Secretary

Since today is Administrative Professionals’ Day, it’s the perfect time for this list of The Top Things You Don’t Want to Hear from Your Secretary.

  • Wanna hear something funny?  I’ve documented every time you’ve commented on my butt.

  • You call it a memo, I call it a manifesto.

  • I consider everything before 2:00 P.M. MY time.

  • I got you the number for Bill O’Reilly’s lawyer.  You’ll need it.

  • Instead of getting you a gift for your wife, I just told her we’re having sex.  I just saved you 25 bucks!

  • It’s not just a ferret, it’s my therapy ferret. 

  • Sorry for the grammatical errors on that document.  But speaking of missing a period . . .

  • Can I cut out early?  Big Klan meeting tonight.

  • Do you mind if I take a smoke break?  I’m dying for some crack.

  • Man, who would have thought a human kidney would take up so much room in a file cabinet?

  • Oops, I accidentally scheduled your lunch with your wife on the same day as your lunch with your girlfriend.