Ways United Airlines Can Improve Their Image

 

  • Offer passengers fresh-baked cookies before dragging them off plane

  • Don’T follow through on every threat

  • Free carry-on bags with every handcuffing

  • Change name to Jet Blue Airlines

  • No beatings on domestic flights under 2 hours

  • Free peanuts might be nice

  • Let other passengers bet on in-flight confrontations

  • Consider allowing leggings

  • Show heartwarming Disney cartoons while customers are being “re-accommodated”

  • Simple but effective: fewer customer assaults