Questions to Ask Before Taking Up Golf

The Masters, golf’s most prestigious tournament, will be watched by millions this weekend.  It might even inspire some to try the sport.  Here are The Top Questions to Ask Yourself Before Taking Up Golf.

  • Am I prepared for the likelihood that Harrison Ford will crash land on my golf ball?

  • Is this just an excuse to dress like a pimp?

  • Is it even remotely possible I could look as sexy in golf clothes as President Trump?

  • To be as good as Tiger Woods, should I start hitting on my waitress at the Waffle House?

  • Am I this desperate to avoid my wife and kids? (Hint: Yes.)

  • Would I be doing it just for the awesome “ball washer” jokes?

  • Will the other golfers love all my “Happy Gilmore” references?

  • Can I finish my round before John Daly so the clubhouse isn’t out of beer?

  • When you get stuck behind someone else, how slow do they have to be before you can legally kill them?

  • Would I be willing to fight an alligator just to save a single stroke?

  • Will I be able to accurately hit the ball through the clown’s mouth and past the windmill?

  • On a scale of 1 to 10, how white am I?

  • Can’t I just watch “Caddyshack” instead?