Questions to Ask Yourself Before Jumping the White House Fence

It seems like every day we hear about someone jumping the White House fence.  So if by chance that’s something you’re thinking about, first check out The Top Questions to Ask Yourself Before Jumping the White House Fence.

  • Did the Secret Service fall for my phony call about free hookers and tequila on the other side of the grounds?

  • Shouldn’t I just accept the fact I lost on Election Day?

  • Is there a better way to impress Jodie Foster?

  • What if I tap on the window and the president can’t hear me because he’s yelling at CNN?

  • To look like I belong there, should I pretend to know nothing about how to pass legislation?

  • If I break the fence, will the president get Mexico to pay for the repairs?

  • Will jumping it be enough for MSNBC to give me my own show?

  • Can I get away with it if I carry a banner promoting Ivanka’s brand?

  • Can I wear leggings . . . or is there a strict dress code for fence jumpers?

  • Should I be careful to avoid Melania trying to jump OUT of the White House?

  • Should I explain that Kellyanne Conway told me to use the “alternative entrance?”

  • Is it worth the risk, or should I not bother trying to retrieve my Frisbee?