Things You Don’t Want To Hear At A Bar

Hope you’re having a good weekend, and that you’re getting out for a little R&R.  Be careful if you’re hitting the bars though, because they’re not all created equally.  How do you know you should look for another establishment?  Sometimes it’s something you hear.  For example:

  • At this place everyone knows your name. Because they’ve stolen your identity.
  • Merton, how many damn times are you gonna come in here with that rifle and shoot this place up?!?
  • Are you ready to rock?!? Then put your hands together for Great White!
  • Most of the women here come in after their shifts at the fertilizer plant.
  • Sweet! This jukebox has every Justin Bieber album ever. Pass me a twenty!
  • I know the game’s going to overtime. But hand me the remote. I want to see what’s happening on “Project Runway”.
  • The beer’s free. Cups are $1,000.
  • The only thing “loose” about the women in here is their “stools.”
  • There’s a two-drink and three-hug minimum.
  • Sorry, the restroom’s out of order. Here, use this mug.