Reasons You Should Stop Smoking Pot

 

Woody Harrelson said he stopped smoking pot because it kept him “emotionally unavailable.”  His drug of choice now?  Rogaine.  So what about you?  Here are The Top Reasons You Should Stop Smoking Pot.

  • You’d have no more anxiety about what the cat is thinking when he looks at you.

  • You’ll stop wasting your money on drugs.  And start wasting it on porn.

  • The “SpongeBob” writers will know that when you laugh at something, it was genuinely funny.

  • You’ll save tons of money not following Phish all over the country.

  •  After listening to Bob Marley every day for the past 20 years, you’ve finally realized that all the songs sound the same.

  •  You’re so paranoid, you’re convinced President Obama is wiretapping you.Transactions with the Domino’s guy will be so much quicker since you’re only buying pizza.

  • Your bucket list will no longer include, “Getting off the futon.”

  • You haven’t eaten anything in 10 years not made by Frito-Lay.

  • You just got punched in the face after telling the mind-numbing, six-hour story of the time you met the bassist from Widespread Panic.

  • Because it’s way more potent when you EAT it.

  • Every time you use “Bogart” as a verb, your IQ drops 50 points.

  • You giggled during your dad’s eulogy. 

  • The cost of Visine has skyrocketed.

  • You had a really good reason for quitting . . . but you forgot it.