PriceWaterhouseCoopers Excuses

  • Totally thrown off by Salma Hayek’s cleavage

  • It’s an awards show; it’s not like it’s a Muslim travel ban or anything

  • Wait, nobody told us this was live!

  • Promised Warren Beatty extra 10 minutes of airtime

  • Our dog ate the Moonlight card

  • Distracted by homeless panhandler who turned out to be Casey Affleck

  • Too busy gearing up for the Kids’ Choice Awards

  • Freaked out by Nicole Kidman’s creepy clapping

  • We’re all gonna die with Trump in charge anyway

  • The Sound Editing Award went perfectly smoothly — nobody mentions that!

  • Two words: Open bar