- You don’t have to have a ticket to get a body search.
- The baggage claim is first come, first served.
- The most popular item at the gift shop is counterfeit green cards.
- The people movers are disabled, forcing you to actually WALK.
- You share a gate with Air ISIS.
- Its restrooms lack the delightful stench of a Pakistani slum.
- Air traffic control is a guy on a stepladder yelling, “Land here!”
- The souvenir shop sells naked photos from the X-Ray scanner at the security checkpoints.
- The only magazine at the newsstand is “Alt Right Monthly”.
- Refugees take one look around and head back to Syria.
- The international terminal is just a guy with a windowless van who says he can smuggle you across the border.
- You hear over the speaker, “The white zone is for the immediate loading and unloading of klansmen only.”
- There are no seats at the bar because they’re all taken by Southwest pilots.
- Its in Aleppo.