Overheard at the Meeting of Arnold Schwarzenegger and the Pope

You know you stole that “I’ll be back” line from Jesus, right?

If you get to choose your name, why did you pick such a girly one?

Please grant me forgiveness for making Kindergarten Cop

I eat guys like you for breakfast…ha, just kidding, Arnold

Wanna be on next season’s Apprentice? We got Juice Newton already!

Could you just go ahead and annul my next marriage?

I need you to perform last rites on my movie career

Keep it in your pants around my housekeeper, capisce?

No, I don’ want to do some crunches

 Somehow I thought you’d be pope-ier

Did I mention that I shtupped a Kennedy?