Rejected Oscar Categories

  • Best Performer We Screwed Over Last Year

  • Best Acting Attempt by Ben Affleck

  • Most Embarrassing “In Memoriam” Omission

  • Best Use of an Acceptance Speech to Dis Trump

  • Best Unoriginal Song

  • The Alfred P. Hirshberg Award for Distinguished Anonymity

  • Best Supporting Hemsworth

  • Most Convincing Botox

  • Best Best Boy