Los Angeles is drying out after getting hit by powerful winter storms the last few days. As a result:
- Nick Nolte actually looks like he bathed.
- Johnny Depp pulled out the waterproof mascara.
- For the first time ever, Charlie Sheen wore rubbers.
- Bill Cosby’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame is slippery from something other than women spitting on it.
- The whole city smells like wet Kardashian.
- The last time so much in the city was washed up was at a reunion of the cast of “The Breakfast Club”.
- The noise from the storms made all the dogs freak out in their owners’ purses.
- Movie execs are so exhausted from dealing with the traffic, they’ve decided to stop constantly coming up with SUPER-original ideas, and just do a remake.
- Meg Ryan’s entire face slid off and went down a storm drain.
- Scott Baio gets a lot more orders for soup from his customers at Applebee’s.
- There are reports of Kevin Hart-size hail.
- With people afraid to get on the road, Tito Jackson’s Uber earnings dropped by 60%.