White House Duties of Omarosa

  • Condense daily intelligence briefing into single tweet

  • Duck and weave to avoid gropings

  • Give Ivanka a “heads up” if her dad’s feeling randy

  • Daily hand size complimenting

  • Forge birthday cards to Tiffany

  • Repeat 1,000 times a day “What the President meant to say was”

  • Learn to say “Thank you” in Russian

  • Comb thesaurus for other words for “great” and “amazing”

  • Stand next to Trump while being black