Donald Trump’s New Year’s Resolutions

  • Don’t be stingy with the bronzer

  • Consider extending warranty on Melania

  • Deport Lorne Michaels’ Canadian ass

  • Learn a few new scams

  • Maybe hire a team of spell chekers??

  • Take a few minutes to mock the handicapped

  • Look into that finger enlargement surgery

  • Demolish U.N. building; erect some craptastic hotel

  • Paw a few Rockettes