Things That Worry Santa

Getting things ready for Christmas Eve is stressful on Saint Nick. But that’s not all that troubles Mr. Claus. Here are The Top Things That Worry Santa:

  • Everything he can do, Amazon can do better with drones.
  • The 2016 election totally redefining “naughty” and “nice.”
  • Getting “sleigh jacked” within minutes of landing in Chicago.
  • President-elect Trump pressuring him not to relocate his workshop to Mexico.
  • His “Naughty or Nice” database getting hacked and winding up giving all his toys to Russian kids.
  • Teenage girls mistaking him for President Snow from “The Hunger Games” and killing him with a crossbow.
  • That someday he might lose his lucrative endorsement deal with Coca-Cola.
  • Kids discovering even though his sleigh is fueled by magic, HE’S fueled by Camels, Light Beer and Twinkies.
  • Donald Trump appointing Heat Miser as Secretary of Christmas.
  • Mrs. Claus getting a little too friendly with Yukon Cornelius.
  • The elves will unionize and demand $15 an hour.
  • Word getting out that he’s able to deliver presents around the world in one night because he’s on meth.
  • Forgetting to clear his browser history and Mrs. Claus seeing the pics of all the naughty girls on his list.