Ways the Clintons Are Spending the Holidays

 

  • Working over their James Comedy voodoo doll in the crotch area

  • Staring forlornly out rain-streaked windows

  • Deleting Celebrity Apprentice from their DVR

  • Making fake snow out of thousands of shredded emails

  • Castrating Anthony Weiner

  • Remodeling their house to add an Oval home office

  • Asking Santa for an Electoral College miracle