Reasons You Aren’t Getting A Christmas Bonus

You are the head coach of the Cleveland Browns.
Your boss is Hillary Clinton.
It was your idea to plan an entire, multi-year ad campaign around new company spokesman Prince.
They found out it was you who pulled the fire alarm because you wanted to go out to the parking lot to catch Pokémon.
You’re the Warner Brothers exec who greenlit “Suicide Squad”.
You love Michael Bolton music, and you love it LOUD.
Your boss skipped the middleman and gave it directly to your meth dealer.
You always tell your boss that there’s no “I” in team. And he says there is one in “fired.”