Reasons You Aren’t Getting A Christmas Bonus

  • You are the head coach of the Cleveland Browns.
  • Your boss is Hillary Clinton.
  • It was your idea to plan an entire, multi-year ad campaign around new company spokesman Prince.
  • They found out it was you who pulled the fire alarm because you wanted to go out to the parking lot to catch Pokémon.
  • You’re the Warner Brothers exec who greenlit “Suicide Squad”.
  • You love Michael Bolton music, and you love it LOUD.
  • Your boss skipped the middleman and gave it directly to your meth dealer.
  • You always tell your boss that there’s no “I” in team. And he says there is one in “fired.”