Reasons For Not Getting A Flu Shot

This was National Influenza Vaccination Week. And here are The Top Reasons You Didn’t get a Flu Shot.

  • The people who say you should get one are the same people who predicted Hillary in a landslide.
  • You ENJOY the flu, because everyone avoids you at work.
  • You’re afraid of needles. And doctors. And motor vehicles. And leaving your house. In other words, you’ve got a lot worse problems than maybe catching the flu.
  • You’re Chuck Norris.  And the flu gets a shot to protect against YOU!
  • You’re a people pleaser. And most people want you to die.
  • Flu shots are just another way for the government to read your thoughts. At least according to the homeless guy on your block who looks suspiciously like Gary Busey.
  • You’d rather get the flu, so you can get the absolute most out of Obamacare while it still exists.
  • If you don’t get sick this winter, you’ll have to brainstorm another reason to ask Facebook friends to send thoughts and prayers.
  • If you get the flu in the next few weeks, you might have a good excuse for avoiding your relatives at Christmas.
  • Nausea and vomiting are the only chance you’ve got of keeping your New Year’s resolution to lose weight.
  • It’d be a nice change to use a sick day for something other than recovering from a weekend bender.