This was National Influenza Vaccination Week. And here are The Top Reasons You Didn’t get a Flu Shot.
- The people who say you should get one are the same people who predicted Hillary in a landslide.
- You ENJOY the flu, because everyone avoids you at work.
- You’re afraid of needles. And doctors. And motor vehicles. And leaving your house. In other words, you’ve got a lot worse problems than maybe catching the flu.
- You’re Chuck Norris. And the flu gets a shot to protect against YOU!
- You’re a people pleaser. And most people want you to die.
- Flu shots are just another way for the government to read your thoughts. At least according to the homeless guy on your block who looks suspiciously like Gary Busey.
- You’d rather get the flu, so you can get the absolute most out of Obamacare while it still exists.
- If you don’t get sick this winter, you’ll have to brainstorm another reason to ask Facebook friends to send thoughts and prayers.
- If you get the flu in the next few weeks, you might have a good excuse for avoiding your relatives at Christmas.
- Nausea and vomiting are the only chance you’ve got of keeping your New Year’s resolution to lose weight.
- It’d be a nice change to use a sick day for something other than recovering from a weekend bender.