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You were literally born yesterday
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Your claim to fame is how many oysters you can eat in one sitting
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You answer the phone by saying, “Yello!”
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You criticize China while having your clothing line made there
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You drink straight out of the milk carton, and then put it back in the fridge
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You’re convinced that Joey Tribbiani is a real person
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You used money from your charitable foundation to buy a life-sized portrait of yourself
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You’re really more of a Newsweek guy