Questions On The Application To Be Secretary Of State

Donald Trump has a short list of candidates to be his Secretary of State. And surprisingly, they actually had to fill out an application. Here are The Top Questions on the Application to be Secretary of State.

  • Your name isn’t Gary Johnson, is it?
  • Are you prepared to knife-fight Giuliani for it?
  • Do you use email?
  • In 5,000 words or more, describe how fantastic Donald Trump is.
  • Can you keep a straight face while asking Mexico to pay for a wall?
  • Can you return from Eastern Europe with a new wife for the boss man?
  • Do you know how to say, “I’m so sorry” in 197 languages?
  • Is there any chance you have the same scintillating charisma as John Kerry?
  • Did you graduate from one of the world’s most prestigious schools, like Harvard, Cambridge, or Trump U?
  • On a scale of one to ten, how much do you hate Muslims?
  • Do you know Aleppo is a city in Syria, and not a brand of dog food?
  • How good are you at begging China for money?
  • Do you work well under conditions of complete disarray?
  • Are you willing to work on weekends and fly to Arizona to help build a cinder block wall?