Advantages Of Being Homeless

This is National Hunger and Homeless Awareness Week. Here are The Top Advantages of Being Homeless.

  • Upkeep on a cardboard box is relatively inexpensive.
  • Squirrels are so much more fun to talk to than your family at Thanksgiving.
  • People like Bruce Springsteen and John Mellencamp write songs about you.
  • The seat on either side of you is pretty much always empty on the subway.
  • You were bearding before bearding was cool.
  • Covering up with newspaper provides warmth AND keeps you up-to-date on current events.
  • You and President Obama have something in common.
  • No possessions means no baggage fees on Spirit Airlines
  • No need to check Zillow for the current value of your appliance box.
  • Telemarketers rarely bug you about solar panels.
  • People always wave and say, “Big fan, Macaulay Culkin!”
  • Nobody bothers you for career advice.
  • You can finally experience firsthand why those guys who hang out under the bridge, guzzling Night Train, always seem to be having such an awesome time.
  • You know that super-cool dude in your neighborhood who’s always yelling at stop signs? He’s your new roommate!
  • You won’t get audited for claiming the home-office deduction on your taxes.
  • Psychiatrists agree, there’s no better way to bond with your kids than planning a family excursion to siphon the gas out of neighborhood cars.
  • You can go to the trendiest neighborhood and people will just assume you’re a hipster.
  • You’ll have lots of new friends when the people who worked on Hillary Clinton’s campaign join you.
  • No need to join a tanning salon when you’re outside all day!
  • When you go grocery shopping you’ll never have to look for a cart.
  • You’re still not as big a loser as those people who live with their parents.
  • You can take over a Mexican family’s house after President Trump deports them.
  • No one ever asks you for your Wi-Fi password.