Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Halloween

  • Because of all the handouts, it’s Bernie Sanders’ favorite holiday.
  • If an adult comes to your door dressed as a hobo, odds are it’s Gary Busey.
  • The word “witch” comes from an Old English word that roughly translates to “Devil in a pantsuit with an insatiable lust to rule the free world.”
  • Ireland is thought to be the birthplace of Halloween. As well as other amazing things, like getting plastered and boring everyone to tears with long-winded stories. Although Donald Trump insists that Halloween was really born in Kenya.
  • Every dentist who gives out floss instead of candy will eventually be going to hell.
  • If you like smashing pumpkins on Halloween, you’re either a vandal . . . or stuck in the ’90s.
  • Every year Chris Christie buys 20 bags of Halloween candy bars . . . and then turns off his front porch light and pretends he’s not home.