Things You Don’t Want To Hear From A Trick-Or-Treater


  • You’re not a cop, are you?

  •  Nice house. Be a shame if it caught fire.

  • Here’s a partial list of my food allergies.

  • It’s not a ghost costume; I’m recruiting for the KKK.

  • Candy corn? Do I look like a bitch to you? 

  •  You probably wouldn’t think a guy my size could fit into a Harley Quinn costume.

  •  Got any Scotch?

  • My lawyers will be in touch.

  • Don’t make me go all Walking Dead on your ass.