Vampire Tweets

Vampires are very busy this time of year. But surprisingly, they have time for social media. Here are The Top Vampire Tweets.

  • What I wouldn’t give to be able to take a mirror selfie!
  • I’ve never once seen my reflection and my hair’s better than Trump’s. How the heck does that work?
  • Why did I bite that woman’s neck and drink all her blood? #BillyBushMadeMeDoIt.
  • I don’t think I’ll see an election like this again, even if I live ANOTHER hundred years.
  • Just picked out my Halloween costume. Spoiler alert: MYSELF!
  • @wolfman @frankenstein @mummy: at least interviews with ME become Tom Cruise movies!
  • @realdonaldtrump: just tried your food line. Wow and I thought WOODEN “stakes” were deadly!
  • The best thing about having a fatal aversion to garlic is never being forced to eat at Olive Garden.
  • Psst, @SarahMichelleGellar. What do you say you come over and drop the “S” from “vampire slayer?”
  • If instantly dying when you’re exposed to direct sunlight is any indication, @EmmaStone and I are definitely meant to be together.
  • For the last time, @LarryKing, quit stealing my “terrifying undead ghoul” shtick!
  • I know Robert Pattinson has convinced people otherwise . . . but some of us vampires are actually happy!
  • Just tried blood pudding for the first time. Very disappointing.
  • RT if you want to suck blood.
  • Anyone know who makes a sunscreen with a 375 SPF?
  • Why are the Cleveland Browns my favorite team? They SUCK so hard!
  • Can’t believe Obamacare won’t cover a retainer for my fangs.
  • I’m leaning toward Hillary. Why? Because she’s always COFFIN!