Least Famous Confucius Quotes

  • He who laughs first . . . is not watching Kevin James’ new sitcom.
  • No, I’m not Jackie Chan.
  • Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Taco Bell, and he’ll crap for a week.
  • If you do something you love for a living, you will end up hating it within six months.
  • Turns out he who smelt it is NOT always the one who dealt it.
  • Where my bitches at?
  • When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life give you gators, make gatorade.
  • Listening is man’s greatest virtue . . . unless he is listening to Nickelback.
  • Life is about the journey, not the destination . . . unless your destination happens to be a Journey concert.
  • When you have faults, do not fear to abandon them. Just pick a good plastic surgeon.
  • Respect yourself, and everyone will respect you. But the same can’t be said when you pleasure yourself.