Reasons To Still Get Married

Brad and Angelina couldn’t make theirs work. But that’s no reason to give up on marriage. Here are The Top Reasons to Still Get Married.

  • If it wasn’t awesome, why would Donald Trump have done it three times?
  • One husband is slightly less messy than 16 cats.
  • It teaches you to lower your expectations.
  • You finally become as attractive to the opposite sex as you wanted to be when you were single.
  • You can play the fun shower guessing game, “Whose hairs are those on the soap?”
  • Having money is super-overrated.
  • You love hanging out with your friends, but it’s just not as fun if someone isn’t at home, waiting to scream at you when you get back.
  • You live longer . . . whether you want to or not.
  • It’s your best way to have a child since adoption takes forever and kidnapping is kind of frowned upon.
  • Instead of multiple women, you only get turned down for sex by one.
  • Sundays are WAY better when they involve more trips to church and brunch with your mother-in-law . . . and less pounding beers and watching football.
  • It’s nice to have someone else to resent for the rest of your life, besides your parents, your boss, your coworkers, and yourself.
  • Come on, it’s not like you can truly appreciate a Bed, Bath & Beyond curtain sale by yourself.
  • Your acting skills improve each time your wife asks you, “Do these jeans make my butt look big?”
  • As time goes on, you and your spouse will become closer . . . to killing each other.
  • You’ll finally appreciate the real meaning of the phrase, “the honeymoon is over.”
  • Someone will be there to find your body if you die in the middle of the night.