Wells Fargo Excuses

Their execs could have used these as they faced a severe grilling form Elizabeth Warren.

  • Thought it would be helpful to steal your money before some Nigerian Prince does

  • This was payback for all the free lollipops

  • Let’s face it, stealing money a hell of a lot easier than earning it

  • Wanted a little C-SPAN screen time

  • Figured Trump’s lying and cheating would distract people from ours

  • It was just 5,300 bad apples, we swear!

  • You should see the crap Bank of America is pulling

  • Was hoping to get a shout-out in the next “Big Short” movie

  • Just can’t resist getting a rise out of Elizabeth Warren

  • Hey, anyone can make 1.5 million mistakes!