Things You Don’t Want To Hear At A Parent-Teacher Conference

School has started, which means the return of the dreaded parent-teacher conferences. Here are The Top Things You Don’t Want to Hear at a Parent-Teacher Conference.

  • Your child do be smart and read good.
  • I noticed your kid stutters. And despite repeatedly whacking her on the head with my ruler, I couldn’t fix it.
  • Could you pass me that rubber cement? I need a little pick-me-up.
  • Sorry, but I don’t know how I can possibly teach Biology with a textbook that’s full of all that “evolution” BS.
  • Sure, I could give the class a lecture on the Cold War. But everyone knows you can learn everything you need to know simply by watching “Red Dawn”.
  • We found drugs on your daughter . . . and she says she stole them from you.
  • Your son can’t read. And unfortunately, he’s not good-looking enough to get away with it.
  • Luckily, our country will always need fast food workers.
  • Yes, your little Sara is failing history class. But only because she keeps insisting that the Holocaust happened.