School has started, which means the return of the dreaded parent-teacher conferences. Here are The Top Things You Don’t Want to Hear at a Parent-Teacher Conference.
- Your child do be smart and read good.
- I noticed your kid stutters. And despite repeatedly whacking her on the head with my ruler, I couldn’t fix it.
- Could you pass me that rubber cement? I need a little pick-me-up.
- Sorry, but I don’t know how I can possibly teach Biology with a textbook that’s full of all that “evolution” BS.
- Sure, I could give the class a lecture on the Cold War. But everyone knows you can learn everything you need to know simply by watching “Red Dawn”.
- We found drugs on your daughter . . . and she says she stole them from you.
- Your son can’t read. And unfortunately, he’s not good-looking enough to get away with it.
- Luckily, our country will always need fast food workers.
- Yes, your little Sara is failing history class. But only because she keeps insisting that the Holocaust happened.