Things That Will Get You Kicked Out of the U.S. Open


  • Catching an errant ball in your mouth like a golden retriever

  • Pulling a “Kaepernick” during the national anthem 

  • Yelling, “You got served!” after each player serves

  • Trying to plant a kiss on the judge because he said the word “love”

  • Attempting to match the players grunt-for-grunt

  • Shouting, “you cannot be serious!” when a vendor charges you $11 for a beer

  • Taping two racquets to your hands and screaming, “I’m Edward Racquethands!!”

  • Starting “The Wave” …in the men’s room