Surprises in the New Season of Celebrity Apprentice

  • In nod to the former host, Schwarzenegger mentions he would also love to date Ivanka

  • Over the course of the season, Snooki gradually morphs into foul-mouthed pumpkin

  • All contestants required to participate in team-building orgy

  • NBC runs subtitles onscreen when Schwarzenegger speaks

  • Opening credits are just 30 seconds of ISIS propaganda

  • Arnold doesn’t just fire losing contestants; he crushes a lit cigar on their hands

  • Staffers are told to be on the lookout for actual celebrities

  • John Connor makes it to semifinals