Reasons You Wouldn’t Make It As An Economist

With the economic plans of both presidential candidates coming out, economists are on network news shows giving their take. However, not everyone understands what they’re talking about. Here are The Top Reasons You Wouldn’t Make it as an Economist.

  • You think “recession” is the name of Britney Spears’ new perfume.
  • Everything you know about the stock market you learned from Eddie Murphy’s “Trading Places”.
  • You firmly believe the world’s financial crises are all caused by one thing: Gay people getting married.
  • You play for the New England Patriots, so you don’t understand the concept of inflation.
  • You think unemployment is a serious problem because Antonio Sabato Jr. hasn’t worked in a while.
  • The only thing you know about money is that waving a roll of it in the air makes you popular at Spearmint Rhino.
  • You think “trickle down” was something that got R. Kelly in trouble.
  • You think Dow Jones is a new country artist.
  • Your previous job was managing Donald Trump’s casinos.
  • You think the Federal Reserve is where Congress keeps an emergency stash of weed.
  • You think the prices at Starbucks are just way too low.
  • The only thing you know how to do with a dollar is fold it so George Washington looks like a penis.