Signs You’re At A Bad Beach

A new survey rated Myrtle Beach, South Carolina as the best beach in the U.S. So it’s pretty much the opposite of what’s described on this list of The Top Signs You’re at a Bad Beach.

  • When you put the seashells to your ears, all you hear is Donald Trump.
  • The lake’s water is shipped in directly from Flint, Michigan.
  • A shark just attacked a swimmer.  On land.
  • Your kids come back with a collection of beer bottle shards.
  • You see someone being buried in the sand, and you realize the guys with the shovels are Mafia.
  • The concession stand only sells Chipotle.
  • Sand got into your crack and now you can’t smoke it.
  • The beached whales are smaller than most of the people hanging out there.
  • The lifeguard is wearing arm floaties.
  • It’s a nude beach . . .for seniors-only.
  • The only people wearing thongs are the guys.