Signs You’re At a Bad Fireworks Show

  • Your dog’’s totally calm and relaxed
  • The E-vite billed the event as a “bad fireworks show”
  • It’s being held in the stock room of an Arby’’s
  • The ““show”” is just a guy named Nicky with two sparklers and a Roman candle
  • It started at 2 in the afternoon
  • Independence Day: Resurgence was more exciting
  • It’s accompanied by the smooth jazz licks of Kenny G
  • The final explosion set your front porch on fire
  • Everyone’’s still got their fingers