Things You’ll Never Hear The Pope Say

Many people were surprised when Pope Francis said Christians should apologize to gays. In fact, they’d probably say it belongs on this list of The Top Things You’ll Never Hear the Pope Say.

  • The Popemobile is going to look bad-ass once I install these Truck Nuts!
  • My favorite comedian?  Bill Maher.
  • I think my next tattoo is gonna be a tribal.
  • In the name of The Father, The Son, and the Holy Ghostface Killah.
  • If I really had a direct line to God, “Vinyl” never would have been cancelled.
  • Hold my beer while I light these firecrackers!
  • I’m going replace these expensive Prada slippers with a pair of Crocs.
  • Trump 2016, people. It’s what Jesus would do.
  • Not having another communion wafer until I see proof it’s gluten-free.
  • I wasn’t really sure about “Deadpool” at first, but he won me over when he passed gas in that old blind lady’s face.
  • Gonna spend this Sunday binge watching “Game of Thrones”.
  • Ya know, I could cut down on my travel schedule if I simply told Eastern Europe that God hates them.
  • What happens in Vatican City, stays in Vatican City.
  • Does a bear wear a funny hat? Do I poop in the woods?