Shark Tweets

In Honor of Shark Week, we wondered what it would be like if Sharks had access to Twitter…

  • Just found Dory. Delicious!
  • Yo, I’ll admit it: After a few too many drinks, I’m not above going home with a whale.

  • Dear Katy Perry: Thanks for the offensive stereotype that we have no rhythm.
  • Wife caught me in bed with a dolphin. Hard to call it an accident when I was doing it on PORPOISE!
  • Thinking about getting fin enhancement surgery. What do y’all think?
  • Way to let us down in the Stanley Cup, San Jose.
  • Just went an entire day without anyone telling me there’s a piece of human in my teeth.
  • Should I wear a necklace with a stoner’s tooth?
  • I hate that one annoying shark who is always bragging about how he only eats vegan swimmers.
  • I’m gonna go look for swimmers near Acapulco . . . because I feel like having a little Mexican for lunch!
  • Just saw “West Side Story”. Is it just me, or were those sharks not scary at all?!? #lame