Signs You’re At An Awful Wedding

Are you planning on attending a wedding this summer?  If you are, you expect it’ll rock.  But it might not.  Here are The Top Signs You’re at an Awful Wedding.

  • Donald Trump denies its legitimacy since it’s officiated by a Mexican judge.
  • Instead of rings, the bride and groom got matching face tattoos.
  • It’s a destination wedding . . . and the destination is Camden, New Jersey.
  • You get judgmental looks for bringing your sex gimp.
  • The best man just reminded guests even though the divorce rate is now over 50%, if anyone can beat the odds, it’s an alcoholic groom and an OCD bride.
  • The only bridesmaid who returns your smile resembles Louie Anderson.
  • The groom is on his phone checking Grindr during the ceremony.
  • The minister says, “You may now lick the bride.”
  • “Here Comes the Bride” is replaced by “Another One Bites the Dust”.
  • It’s neither “big” nor “fat” nor “Greek” . . . but rather “small” and “emaciated” and “North Korean.”
  • It’s an open bar and Johnny Manziel is a guest.
  • The dollar dance with the bride is actually a LAP DANCE.
  • The back of the happy couple’s car has the words, “Just Married . . . Because We Kind Of Had To, If You Know What I Mean.”
  • It’s a wedding.