Things You Didn’t Know About Cleveland

With the city of Cleveland celebrating their Cavaliers winning the NBA championship with a big victory parade tomorrow, it’s a good time to look at Things You Didn’t Know About Cleveland.

  • Donald Trump is mad that LeBron James made it great again before he could.
  • Cleveland was the first city in the world to be fully lit by electricity. Plus, its football team had the first quarterback in the NFL to be fully lit by alcohol.
  • People who claim Cleveland is dull forget it’s only four short hours away from exhilarating Dayton.
  • It’s the birthplace of potato chips, Superman, and rock and roll . . . known collectively as “‘Murica.”
  • Donald Trump is encouraging the Cleveland Indians to change their mascot . . . to something even more degrading to Native Americans.
  • Greeting card company American Greetings is based in Cleveland, which explains why they’re so skilled at coming up with sympathy cards.
  • During the winter it’s almost as chilly as Bill and Hillary’s bedroom.
  • NASA has a large research facility there. And they say the Browns are light years away from being in the playoffs.
  • If you can take two steps without falling over, you can play for the Browns.
  • The weather is actually nice three days out of the year.
  • Life Savers candies were invented there in 1912, and the sucking has been pretty constant ever since.