Questions To Ask Before Becoming A Lifeguard

Summer is here and there are plenty of job opportunities for lifeguards. But like any job, there are things to take in consideration before applying. Here are The Top Questions to Ask Yourself Before Becoming a Lifeguard.

  • Can I run in slow motion?
  • Am I ready for such a deep, dark tan that Donald Trump will say I’m prejudiced against him if I ever become a judge?
  • If a hot chick walks by in a bikini, am I prepared to hilariously remove my sunglasses and fall off my chair, like they always do in eighties movies?
  • Under “qualifications” on my resume, should I mention something OTHER than the fact I’ve seen every single episode of ‘Baywatch’“?
  • How buoyant are obese people?
  • Can I keep a straight face when I tell people to “grab my dingy?”
  • Will I need a support bra to keep my enormous boobs from jiggling when I run? And will it be the same kind the women use?
  • Premature aging; am I for or against it?
  • Do I want to come home from work everyday with a sandy crotch?
  • Can I refrain from Instagramming selfies long enough to save a drowning kid?
  • Am I doing it just because rip tides are often strong enough to pull down women’s bikini bottoms?
  • Is it bad that I’m afraid of the water?