Overheard at the Miss USA Pageant

 

  • Now remember: if Steve Harvey says you won, wait for further confirmation
  • I can walk in heels AND chew gum!
  • Is Donald Trump still involved with this, or did I just badmouth Mexicans for no reason?
  • Why doesn’t Miss District of Columbia speak Columbian?
  • We have great respect for all of tonight’s sex objects.
  • I mean, contestants
  • “Don’t let the drooling horn dogs in the front row throw you”
  • “Man, it’s a good thing beauty never fades!”
  • “We’re going to need to see your birth certificate, Miss Hawaii”
  • “Objectification and crappy prizes! It’s my lucky day!”