Mama June will go on a national strip club tour later this month. Which brings us to today’s list of The Top Signs You’re at a Bad Strip Club.
- They don’t look like the girls in a Motley Crue video . . . they look like Motley Crue.
- You’ve been there four hours and have yet to hear “Cherry Pie”.
- The girls can pick dollar bills up off the stage without using their hands . . . or squatting.
- For an extra $5, your stripper will let your touch her C-section scar.
- You meet the club’s featured dancer . . . standing at the next urinal.
- Before a girl can give you a lap dance, you have to buy her dinner and meet her family.
- Your wife doesn’t care that you’re there.
- All the dancers have great relationships with their fathers.
- The strippers are hot and bothered…because they’re going through menopause.
- The girls only dance to Mumford & Sons.
- Even though you totally trust that the girls are only stripping to pay their way through college, someone just reminded you college doesn’t last 15 years.
- You tuck your dollar bills under their colostomy bag.
- The dancers celebrate Take Your Child to Work Day.