Reasons You Won’t Watch The NBA Finals

Game one of the best of seven NBA Finals between the Golden State Warriors and Cleveland Cavaliers goes down tonight from Oracle Arena in Oakland. Find out why you couldn’t care less with The Top Reasons You Won’t Watch the NBA Finals.

  • You’re Amber Heard and Johnny Depp just threw the TV at you.
  • Every time you turn on the TV, all you see is people talking about what a horrible parent you are for letting your kid fall into that gorilla cage.
  • It’s too hard to follow since the winner doesn’t receive a rose.
  • If it doesn’t have boobs or dragons, you’re not interested.
  • You’re waiting to binge-watch it on Netflix.
  • You’ll just watch the highlights on ESPN. You know, if their sportscasters leave any time after making all those clever asides and laughing at each other.
  • You’re a baseball fan, so you don’t like watching sports that you can’t nap during.
  • You actually will watch some of the games on a 70-inch big screen . . . but only if you can sneak your 12-pack of beer and snacks in without Best Buy security catching you.
  • You’re Johnny Manziel and you’re still passed out from your Memorial Day bender.
  • You have a phobia of tattoos.