In honor of the 100th running of the Indy 500 on Sunday…
- This year marks the 100th race . . . and it’s still just nothing but several hours of cars turning left.
- It’s the only thing people in Indiana enjoy that doesn’t involve meth.
- David Letterman will be there, and if you ask nicely he may let you pet his beard.
- Usually a celebrity sings the national anthem. But this year they decided to buck tradition and get Darius Rucker.
- “Formal wear” for spectators means a T-shirt WITH sleeves.
- Before stricter regulations on tobacco advertising were put in place, winners were paid in Skoal Bandits.
- It’s fun to watch to see if the winner is lactose intolerant and projectile vomits after drinking the jug of milk.
- If you’ve never missed watching the whole thing on TV, you really hate spending time with your family.
- On their way home, drivers have been known to cause major accidents, due to their stubborn refusal to make right turns.