Questions to Ask Before Becoming a TSA Agent

The TSA is currently way understaffed, but they say more agents will be hired.  So if that’s a possible career option for you, please first review this list of The Top Questions to Ask Yourself Before Becoming a TSA Agent.

 Am I prepared to send anyone with a scruffy beard straight to Guantanamo?

  • Am I prepared to send anyone with a scruffy beard straight to Guantanamo?
  • Do I have any experience molesting people over their clothing?
  • How aggressively can I say the word “ma’am”?
  • Can I look someone in the eye and say, without even cracking a smile, “We’re working as fast as we can, sir”?
  • Do I love pointless badges?
  • Is it more satisfying to take out my inferiority complex on a punching bag or weary travelers?
  • Can I remember to keep the bottle of alcohol I bring to work to get me through the day below 3.4 ounces?
  • Do I have to touch old people?
  • Can I remember to add an occasional dude to my pat-down line so people don’t notice the rest are women with huge racks?
  • Will a single second pass when I DON’T completely hate my job, my employer, my coworkers, my life, and myself?
  • Would I like to have a private collection of four-ounce bottles of shampoo?
  • Will my sausage fingers fit into those blue latex gloves?