Things That Will Get You Kicked Out of the Senior Prom

Last week, I was talking about how much it costs to go to your prom compared to my prom many, many, many many years ago.  I also talked about how my prom date made her own gown, and used the same material to make my bow-tie and cummerbund so we’d match perfectly.  Someone asked me if that was true, or just something I made up for the radio.  I assured them that it was true, and over the weekend found a picture to prove it.


Until I saw this picture again, I completely forgot that she also made a matching pocket square.


Even though my prom night was a long time ago, I know there are some things that never change.  For example, things that would have gotten me kicked out then will get you kicked out now.  May I present:

Things That Will Get You Kicked Out of the Senior Prom.

  • Showing up in your “birthday tux”
  • Having sex right on the dance floor instead of being a gentleman and taking it to the bathroom
  • Trying to smoke your date’s corsage
  • Performing a Lambada so erotic that it causes the town to ban dancing, just like in Footloose
  • Pretending to be your own publicist
  • Reenacting the pig blood scene from Carrie
  • Scoring chicks for Woody Allen
  • Not having a date…or being a student