Reasons You Don’t Exercise

A new study says even moderate exercise makes your brain healthier.  Find out why you couldn’t care less with The Top Reasons You Don’t Exercise.

  • The bigger your stomach, the more value you get at a buffet.
  • Prince exercised . . .
  • You like picking lotto numbers using the first five digits of your weight.
  • The same reason you don’t have sex:  nobody wants to watch you grunt, sweat, and cry.
  • You’re too busy . . . coming up with excuses not to exercise.
  • You got kicked out of the Y for claiming to be transgender and using the women’s shower.
  • The guy who picks the music at your gym is a huge Nickelback fan.
  • “Candy Crush” ain’t gonna play itself.
  • You prefer people to love you for who you are.  Which is why you’re alone.
  • You’re too busy being Governor of New Jersey.
  • You’re married.  And nothing sounds better than the sweet release of a premature death.
  • You’re perfecting your dad bod.
  • Why add years to your life when you’ll just be spending them under President Trump?
  • You’re really afraid of demons. Oh sorry, exercise, not EXORCISE.