Reasons You Aren’t Into Golf

The Masters golf tournament is under way in Augusta, Georgia.  Maybe you’re like me…maybe you think the only thing more boring than someone telling you about their golf dream is someone telling you about a dream they had.  Find out why you couldn’t care less with this list of The Top Reasons You Aren’t into Golf.

  • You prefer to wear clothes that HELP you have sex.
  • You’re into baseball.  So you can only handle so much boring.
  • As an American, you just can’t handle the game’s rigorous physical demands.
  • The only Scottish activity you enjoy is binge drinking.
  • You consider it the pompous folly of the elite . . . besides, you’re too busy with wine tastings.
  • You’d rather go bowling.  It’s a lot cheaper, and you get about the same score.
  • The last time you were on the course, you were beaten within an inch of your life after you refused to stop quoting “Caddyshack”.
  • It requires grace, skill, and poise.  Or as you know it, 0 for 3.
  • White dimpled balls make you self-conscious.
  • You’re a typical American so the only “slice” you want to work on is pizza.
  • Since you’re under 100, you don’t watch anything on CBS.
  • You clap too loudly.