Virgin America was just voted the top U.S. airline for the fourth year in a row. Unfortunately, some other airlines weren’t even close. Here are The Top Signs You’re Flying a Bad Airline.
- Kids who visit the cockpit wind up on the East Asian black market.
- It determines your destination city by a show of hands.
- Flight attendants won’t let you shove the shrieking infant next to you into an overhead bin.
- The captain turns off the fasten seatbelt sign and turns on the fasten gimp mask sign.
- They measure out your soda with an eyedropper.
- The cabins are divided into first class, business class, and steerage.
- The peanuts taste a lot like a vacuum cleaner.
- Every passenger that falls asleep wakes up with a penis drawn on their
- forehead.
- Once you reach cruising altitude, a sign lights up over the cockpit reading, “Quiet. Captain Sleeping.”
- They lose your luggage, then charge you a $200 luggage recovery fee.
- The barf bag in the holder in front of you is full from the previous flight.
- The emergency oxygen masks are coin-operated.
- Instead of just showing your two-year-old son the cockpit, the captain lets him fly the plane.