Surprise Revelations About Hillary Clinton

Some conservatives think Hillary Clinton’s recent coughing fit proves she has a serious respiratory problem. While that may not be true, there are other things about Hillary you don’t know. She’s never placed higher than second in a chicken-cackling contest.

  • Those coughing fits are triggered by massive bong rips.
  • She’s fond of pantsuits because her legs are actually covered in skull tattoos.
  • She has a THIRD email account where she trades German amputee porn.
  • Some nights she actually knows where Bill is.
  • She once spoke at Chelsea’s school for career day, and charged them a discounted rate of $200,000.
  • She never wears purple pantsuits because kids might think she’s Grimace.
  • She has nothing to hide in her email scandal and if you think otherwise you’re SEXIST!