The Top Things We Learned From Super Bowl 50

Now that Super Bowl 50 is in the books, let’s do a quick review of what happened with this list of The Top Things We Learned From Super Bowl 50.

  • If anyone ever tells you a football game is “defensive,” that means it sucks.
  • If you took a shot for every punt, you’re now dead.
  • Even Beyoncé can’t make Coldplay seem anything less than blindingly white.
  • Helen Mirren still looks hot for 152.
  • Evidently, there’s a late-night host on CBS named “James Corden.”
  • Watching grown men degrade their future mental capacities is FUN! Especially when there’s chips and guacamole.
  • There’s something extremely off-putting about old, white guys saying the word “dab.”
  • Unless you’re into stale Christopher Walken gags, the commercials are no longer the most fun part.
  • The REAL action this season is at the Republican presidential debates.
  • It was one of the best Super Bowls ever according to insomniacs.
  • Jim Nantz is a huge fan of Peyton Manning. And an even bigger fan of Jim Nantz.
  • We should’ve watched the Puppy Bowl.